Ham Ham Christmas Play
by Shadow Dragon Boss
Summary: The hamhams decide to put on a Christmas play for the season for the other hamsters in town. Will this play be successful, or does it have disaster written all over it?


Since Christmas is almost here, I decided to make a christmas fic. Hope you enjoy it! Please Review!  
  
The hamhams are at the clubhouse  
  
Bijou: You know, christmas eez almost here  
  
Hamtaro: I can't wait!  
  
Pashmina: Ya, and we should think of doing something for the season for a bunch of other hams who don't have anything else to do  
  
Dexter: What do you think we should do?  
  
Howdy: My jokes won't knock their socks off!  
  
Dexter: Finally, you agree with me about your corny jokes!  
  
Howdy: No, cause hamhams don't wear socks! Except Snoozer that is!!! *laughs hystarically*  
  
Other hamhams: *groan*  
  
Sandy: Hey! We should, like, totally do a rythmic gymnastics show!  
  
Pashmina: Hey! Great idea Sandy!  
  
Penelope: Ookwee!  
  
Boss: Rythmic gymnastics?! I'm not gonna spin ribbons around! That's for girls!  
  
Maxwell: Maybe we should try thinking of something that's a little more girls and boys orientated, and something more christmasy  
  
Snoozer: A hamham christams play.....that's always christmasy...zuzuzu.....  
  
Maxwell: Exactly!  
  
Hamtaro: That's a great idea!  
  
Dexter: Absolutely perfect!  
  
Howdy: I guess it'll be more christmasy than my jokes! Unless I could think up some Christmas jokes!  
  
Dexter: Don't even bother.  
  
Hamtaro: That's great! Let's get started!  
  
Bijou: But how should we start?  
  
Maxwell: Well....first we need to elect a director. One who can keep things moving, and stays on task.  
  
Sandy: That would be you Maxy!  
  
Bijou: I think he would make a wonderful diector!  
  
Penelope: Ookwee!  
  
Boss: That's fine with me!  
  
Hamtaro: Alright then! Maxwell's the director!  
  
Pashmina: Where should we perform?  
  
Panda: I just built a new stage, which would really come in handy for this!  
  
Cappy: I got some christmas hats Kip and Sue made me!  
  
Stan: Me and Sandy totally got some wicked christmas costumes back at home! Me and her'll go get them!  
  
Hamtaro: This is gonna be perfect!  
  
Boss: Alright! Everyone on stage now, and let's start doing our skit!  
  
*stan, sandy and cappy come back with their costumes and hats, while the hamhams are figuring out what to do for a christmas play*  
  
Pashmina: How about silent night?  
  
Panda: I think that's a song, not really a story  
  
Boss: I know! How about the Grinch?  
  
Oxnard: Ya! And you could be the Grinch Boss, Since it was your idea!  
  
Boss:.....Forget I said that!  
  
Hamtaro: That was a good idea though.  
  
Boss: Drop it!  
  
Hamtaro: Ok...  
  
Bijou: Zee 12 days of christmas!  
  
Maxwell: That's getting into the songs area again  
  
Stan: We should totally go for something with no so much singing, like the Grinch, as Boss said.  
  
Boss: I said drop it, Stan!  
  
Oxnard: Roasting Chestnuts on an Open Fire!  
  
Hamtaro: I thought we were staying out of the songs area.  
  
Oxnard: ya...but they're sooooo tasty! My mouth is watering just thinking about it!  
  
Panda: Ya, and your drool's dripping all over my stage!  
  
Pashmina: eeeww!!!  
  
Maxwell: Hey! I know! It should be about a girl and her brother who don't believe in Santa anymore. Santa can then come to their house to help them start believing in the spirit of Christmas again.  
  
Hamtaro: That's a great idea!  
  
Maxwell: Now we'll need hamhams to play parts. Here are the parts: Santa Clause, all the 8 reindeer, the little girl, and her brother. Bijou, how about you be the girl in the skit?  
  
Bijou: zat eez fine with me!  
  
Maxwell: And Snoozer will be the brother, since the brother doesn't have to move around much.  
  
Snoozer: *snore*  
  
Boss: I'll be santa!  
  
Hamtaro: Aaaww!!! I wanted to be santa too!  
  
Howdy: Hey! Don't forget me over here!  
  
Maxwell: Alright! All three of you can try out! First of all, i'll get the reindeer parts filled in. Let's see....Oxnard, you can be Dasher. Sandy, you can be Dancer. Penelope, you're Prancer. Pashmina is Vixen. Panada is Comet. Stan is Cupid. Dexter is Donner, and between Boss, Howdy, and Hamtaro, one will be Blitzen.  
  
Pashmina: You get a big job Penelope! Think you can help pull a sleigh?  
  
Penelope: Ookwee!  
  
Stan: Cupid is totally perfect for me! Making all the ladies fall in love!  
  
Sandy: *groan*  
  
Maxwell: Okay now. Howdy, you will be first to try out for santa!  
  
Howdy: All right! Here goes! Ho ho ho! How's it going out there tonight folks?!  
  
Maxwell: No Howdy! Santa doesn't do that. I want you to call out the reindeers names! On Dasher! On Dancer! and all the rest.  
  
Howdy: On Thrasher! Was it Thrasher or something else?...uuummm... On Lancer! Now that one was right! On.....on.....Uuumm.....errr.....uuuuhh.....  
  
Maxwell: What's wrong Howdy?  
  
Howdy: Well....ya see....I don't really know the rest of them reindeer!  
  
Maxwell: What?! You mean you've never heard of their names before?!  
  
Howdy: Nope! Not until you shouted out those first two. The rest are a mystery to me! Heck, i'm not even sure if I got the first two right!  
  
Maxwell: Well...it'll be a good start for you to know them, by being one of them for the skit. You can be Blitzen.  
  
Howdy: Darnit! Now i'm a stinkin' reindeer! Well, at least I know three of the reindeer now....I think...what were those two other reindeer I named again?  
  
Maxwell: Never mind that for now...Okay Boss. Pretend to be santa, and call out all the reindeers names.  
  
Boss: Okay! No sweat! *clears throat* On Trasher! On Cancer! On Crasher! On Nixen! On Vomit! On Stupid! On-  
  
Maxwell: What kind of joke is this?! You've got it all wrong! The name is pronnounced Comet and Cupid, not vomit and stupid! And all the rest are wrong too!  
  
Boss: What?! Joke? But that's their names! I swear!  
  
Maxwell: No they aren't. Obviously you don't know their names any better than Howdy. I'm afraid you can't be santa. But all the reindeer parts are filled in! Where will you go? I should've thought of this before...  
  
Boss: But I thought I got them right! *turns bright red from embarrassment*  
  
Maxwell: *sees Boss turning red* How could I forget!? Boss! I've got the perfect part for you!  
  
Boss: Heke?  
  
*five minutes later*  
  
Boss: Oh...my.....god...I am going to KILL you Maxwell! *Boss is seen in a reindeer costume, with a red lightbulb tied onto his nose*  
  
Maxwell: But it's all we got left! And this part if very important!  
  
Boss: AAARRRRGH!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M THE FREAKING LOSER WITH THE RED NOSE! *light bulb lights up* 0_0; ACK! IT'S BLINDING ME! GET THIS OFF OF ME NOW!!!!  
  
Bijou: I think you look absolutely wonderful!  
  
Boss: Really? You do? *blushes* Do you really think so?  
  
Bijou: Oui!  
  
Boss:.....That's it! I'm outta here!  
  
Bijou: No! Wait Boss! Oh please stay! We need you!  
  
Boss: Well.....if you guys REALLY need me, then i'll stay.  
  
Maxwell: Now Hamtaro, you think you can do this?  
  
Hamtaro: Of course!  
  
Maxwell: Alright then, call out the reindeers names  
  
Hamtaro: On Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer! On Vixen! On Comet! On Cupid!....uuuuummm.....On Donner and Blitzen!  
  
Maxwell: You almost got it! Great job! I knew you could do it! Hamtaro, you're going to be santa!  
  
Hamtaro: Yay! I get to be santa caluse! I get to be santa clause!*Hamtaro is dancing around in circles, singing*  
  
Boss: Hey Santa! Try not to rub it in, right?!  
  
*Hamtaro doesn't notice Boss, and while dancing around, he accidentally jumps on Boss's foot."  
  
Boss: AAAUUGH! So! You think it's funny me being the red nosed freak, eh? You won't be laughing when I can show you how hard this red nosed freak can bite!  
  
Maxwell: *grabs Boss* Calm down Boss! It was an accident! I'm sure he wasn't making fun of you!  
  
Hamtaro: Huh? Oh! I'm really sorry Boss! I didn't see you!  
  
Bijou: Shall we practice our lines now?  
  
Maxwell: Okay! Bijou, you start off.  
  
Cappy: Hey! What about me?!  
  
Maxwell: Well....uummm.....there's no more parts left, so....you can be the curtain opener!  
  
Cappy:......whoowhee....what a job....  
  
Boss: Hey Cappy! I'll trade ya parts!  
  
Cappy: Really?!  
  
Maxwell: There will be no trading parts. I want you all to stick to your own parts without complaint.  
  
Cappy: Aaawwww!  
  
Boss: I don't know why I ever agreed to this!  
  
Maxwell: Okay Bijou, you may start when ready.  
  
Bijou: *reads script* I do not belive in Santa Clause anymore! Eet eez so childish! He doesn't even exist! Right John? *turns to snoozer*  
  
Snoozer: zu zu zu...  
  
Boss: WAKE UP FOR ONCE!!!  
  
Maxwell: Don't pressure him! It might take him awhile to cooperate. That was good Bijou, just make your tone of voice more mad sounding. Now Hamtaro, we go to your scene.  
  
Hamtaro: What? Oh! Okay! uuumm....let's see(reads script)Hohoho! I can't wait for my big night tonight! I hope the reindeer are ready too!  
  
Maxwell: No. No. Stop. Make your voice more low and jolly sounding  
  
Hamtaro: Okay, i'll try. Ahem. HoHoHo! I can't wait for my big night tonight! I hope the reindeer are ready too!  
  
Maxwell: That's better, but try working on making your voice a bit deeper.  
  
Hamtaro: I don't think I can do that...  
  
Maxwell: Just practice, okay? Now you walk out towards all the reindeer in their pen. Places reindeer!  
  
*all the reindeer rush to their wooden pen, tripping over one another*  
  
Maxwell: We'll need to work on that part, but for now, continue.  
  
Hamtaro: Ah! All my reindeer! Are you all ready for the big night?  
  
Howdy: You bet your big black boots we are! It'll be a real hootin'ninny tonight!  
  
Dexter: I thought it was called hoedown where you folk come from, not hooting nanny  
  
Howdy: It's hootin'ninny, not hooting nanny! And me and my folks call it a hootin'ninny, not a hoedown!  
  
Dexter: It's a hoedown!  
  
Howdy: Hootin'ninny  
  
Dexter: Hoedown!  
  
Howdy: Hootin'ninny  
  
*the two start pummeling other in a cloud of dust)  
  
Maxwell: Guys, stop! You need to stick to your lines!  
  
Howdy: Oh alright! Only if Dexter will pipe down and stop bugging me!  
  
Dexter: Alright, but you know, the proper term IS hoedown  
  
Howdy: Hootin'ninny!  
  
Dexter Hoe-  
  
Maxwell: STOP!!!  
  
Dexter and Howdy: NO!!! *they continue to fight*  
  
Boss: BOTH OF YOU SHUTUP!!!!!  
  
Dexter and Howdy: ._.; okay...  
  
Maxwell: Thank you Boss. Now, back to our lines.  
  
Howdy: Okay. I'll start over. Ya santa, we're all ready!  
  
Hamtaro: Alright reindeer! It's time for reindeer practice!  
  
*the hamhams continue practicing*  
  
Maxwell: Alright! Great job everyone! I think we'll be ready to perform tomorrow! Remember, practice your scripts before you go to bed tonight.  
  
Everyone: Okay!  
  
*the next day*  
  
Maxwell: Okay! Tonight's the big night everyone! So let's rehearse one more time!  
  
*they rehearse for an hour*  
  
Maxwell: Excellent! Great work! I know we'll be ready for sure now!  
  
Oxnard: I'm hungry!  
  
Boss: You're always hungry!  
  
Maxwell: Alright! let's have something to eat.  
  
Hamtaro: Chow time!  
  
*later on that night, the hamhams are on the stage, behind the curtains*  
  
Cappy: I can't believe i'm the dumb curtain man! That's no fun!  
  
Panda: *peeks from curtains* Woah! Take a look at all the hamhams out there! There's a huge crowd tonight!  
  
Oxnard:*peeks behind curtains* I think i'm gonna be sick...  
  
Hamtaro: It can't be that bad! *looks from curtains* That is alot of hamhams!  
  
Boss: C'mon you whimps! You can't be afraid of a little crowd, can you?! *peeks from cutains* 0_0; Somebody shoot me...  
  
Howdy: With what?! There's no guns or slingshots!  
  
Cappy: Maybe he means with a spitball!  
  
Boss: No! It's just an expression! We'll be alright! I hope...  
  
Maxwell: Ladies and gentlehams! The hamhams and I have organized a christmas play, for all of you tonight. We ask you to please remain seated and stay quiet for the whole play. We thank you for your cooperation. Now give it up for the hamhams!  
  
*crowd cheers*  
  
Bijou: *enters the scene with snoozer lying on the bed*  
  
Maxwell: *whispers* Okay Bijou, the spotlight's on you now. Go for it!  
  
Bijou:.......  
  
Maxwell: Bijou?  
  
Bijou: I....I....I do not think I can do this....  
  
Maxwell: But Bijou, we've rehearsed several times! You were perfect the last few times we rehearsed. Just do your best.  
  
Random ham from crowd: Hey! We want a show! Now get on with it!  
  
Bijou: Err...*ahem* uh, I do not belive in Santa Clause anymore! Eet eez so childish! He doesn't even exist! Right John?  
  
Snoozer:*snore*  
  
Bijou: Oh please snoozer...wake up! Please!  
  
Snoozer: zuzuzu.....  
  
Bijou:erm.....*runs off stage, panting* I'm glad zat eez over!  
  
Hamtaro: *enters on the stage* HoHoHo! I can't wait for my big night tonight! I hope the reindeer are ready too!  
  
*the hamhams rush to their reindeer pen, tripping and stumbling over one another*  
  
Penelope: *begins to cry*  
  
Pashmina: Don't cry Penelope! There there...  
  
Maxwell: Oh no...  
  
Hamtaro: uumm.....Hello reindeer! Are you ready for the big night tonight?  
  
Howdy: yes....wouldn't it be better to jazz things up a bit?! Who wants to hear a joke?!  
  
Dexter: Howdy! Stick to your script!  
  
Howdy: Oh, all right!  
  
Maxwell: What's wrong with them? They were perfect at their rehearsal today, but now they're goofing off and getting their lines mixed up!  
  
Hamtaro: Okay! It's time for reindeer practice!  
  
Oxnard: But i'm hungry! I don't wanna do practice!  
  
Sandy: Oxnard! That's not what you're supposed to say!  
  
Oxnard: I know! I really am hungry!  
  
Sandy: But we're doing the play right now! Everyone's watching!  
  
Oxnard: Oh...*looks out at the crowd* AAAAUUGH!!! *faints*  
  
Hamtaro: 0_0; uummm....should we go to reindeer practice now?  
  
Stan: Let's play some totally awesome reindeer games!  
  
Hamtaro: Yes! Come now reindeer! Time for some reindeer games to get you geared up for the big night! That's reindeer practice too, right? HoHoHo!  
  
All reindeer: Yay!  
  
Maxwell: This isn't supposed to be happening.  
  
Hamtaro: Now, let's play reindeer tag! Go for it! HoHoHo!  
  
Panda: *leaps up in the air* I can fly! I can fly! I can flllllllyyyyyyyyy!!!*falls down on the ground* Or not! oooooowwww.....@_@  
  
Hamtaro: Comet! Are you alright?  
  
Panda: Pssst! Hamtaro! That wasn't supposed to happen! What do I do?  
  
Hamtaro: We'll just have to make up some lines as we make mistakes.  
  
Panda: Oh, okay! Good plan! Ya, i'm alright santa! I just need more practice.  
  
*The hamham audience begins to whisper to one another*  
  
Panda: I don't think they bought it Hamtaro.  
  
Hamtaro: The show must go on! Just keep going as if nothing happened.  
  
*the hamahms all jump around, and luckily, no one else falls down*  
  
Hamtaro: Now, I know we're missing someone, but who? *counts reindeer* I've got Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen. Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen! But there's someone missing! I know it!  
  
kid hamhams sitting in the front row: Rudolph! Rudolph! You forgot Rudolph!  
  
Hamtaro HoHoHo! How could I forget?! Come on now Rudolph! Whereever you're hiding!  
  
*no answer*  
  
Hamtaro: Now where could Rudolph be? Come out now Rudolph!  
  
*still no answer*  
  
Hamtaro: Rudolph?  
  
*still no rudolph*  
  
Maxwell: *to himself* Oh please Boss, Come out!  
  
Hamtaro: I'll have to search for him! *searches behind cardboard bushes and houses on the stage* I don't get it! Where could he be?! *sees antler sticking out from behind one of the last bushes* Oh HoHo! There you are! Now come out Rudolph! We all know where you are!  
  
*nothing*  
  
Hamtaro: Err....just one second folks *jumps behind bush* Boss! What are you doing behind here?! You were supposed to come on the stage along time ago!  
  
Boss: Not in this costume! I look like a complete idiot!  
  
Hamtaro: But the other hamhams are dressed up in reindeer costumes too!  
  
Boss: Ya, but at least they don't have a huge baggy costume that doesn't even fit them and a light bulb tied onto their nose!  
  
Hamtaro: C'mon Boss! You don't look that bad!*boss's light bulb lights up bright red* AAACK! *falls backwards* Well....it is a little bright...  
  
Boss: See? What'd I tell ya?!  
  
Hamtaro: You're still going on! Come one! *drags boss onto the stage by his foot*  
  
Boss: No! You can't make me!!! *paws are digging in the floor, making a horrible scraping sound and leaving scratch marks on the floor*  
  
Panda: Oh great! Now my stage is ruined!  
  
Hamtaro: HoHoHo! Here's Rudolph! Say hello to everyone Rudolph!  
  
Boss: Hello to everyone Rudolph.  
  
Hamtaro: Boss! That's not your line!  
  
Boss: But you told me to say: Hi to everyone Rudolph!  
  
Hamtaro: erm....Well Rudolph's..just joking around and being funny as usual! Isn't that right Rudolph?  
  
Boss: Loose some weight, fatso! How about starting by laying off the eggnog and dohnuts?!  
  
Crowd: *Gasps and breaks into whispers*  
  
Hamtaro: o_0;erm....okay now Rudolph, it's time to join in the reindeer games....let's go!  
  
Boss: Try and make me!  
  
Hamtaro: Come on Rudolph!  
  
Boss: *light bulb lights up* Fear my weapon of mass destruction!  
  
Hamtaro AAAUGH! MY EYES! *falls backwards* I hate you.  
  
Boss: Not as much as I hate you!  
  
Hamtaro: Rudolph....to the reindeer games...NOW!  
  
Boss: *plugs his ears* LALALAAA!!!! I'M NOT LISTENING! LALALAAA!!! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!  
  
Crowd: *looks at one another, whispering and chuckling*  
  
Maxwell: *teeth clenched, under his breath* You just HAVE to ruin this, don't you Boss?  
  
Boss: LALALALAAAAA!!!!! CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALALALAAAA!!  
  
Bijou: *pokes head from the fake bushes* Oh Boss. Please go to zee reindeer games!  
  
Boss: Oh! Bijou! Of course I'll go to the reindeer games! *runs off towards the rest of the reindeer*  
  
Hamtaro: Wow! That was fast!  
  
*after the reindeer games*  
  
Hamtaro: HoHoHo! Time to go hamham-eer...reindeer!  
  
*reindeer strap up to the sleigh*  
  
Maxwell: At least they got that part down good.  
  
Penelope: Ookwee! Ookwee!  
  
Pashmina: On-no! Help! Penelope's got a rein tangled in her antler!  
  
Maxwell: Well...maybe I spoke to soon...  
  
Hamtaro: HoHoHo! Don't worry Prancer! I'll get that out for you! *untangles rein*  
  
Penelope: ookwee!  
  
Pashmina: Thank you so much Santa!  
  
Hamtaro: *hops on sleigh with toys* Let's go reindeer! On Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer! On Vixen! On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner! On Blitzen! Lead the way Rudolph!  
  
Boss: whoopee, here I go...*light bulb on Boss lights up, but suddenly bursts into flames* AAAUGH!!! THE LIGHT BULB SPONTAINIOUSLY COMBUSTED!!! AAAAHHH!!!!!*runs aroud the stage, freaking out*  
  
*The crowd starts to freak out*  
  
Howdy: Wow! This is what I really call a hootin'ninny!  
  
Dexter: Hoedown!  
  
Howdy: Hootin'ninny!  
  
Dexter: HOEDOWN!!!  
  
Howdy: HOOTIN'NINNY!  
  
*they two are lost in a cloud of dust, fighting*  
  
Maxwell: Hamhams! Control yourselves!  
  
Penelope: Ookwee! Ookwee! *begins to cry*  
  
Pashmina: Please stop everyone!  
  
Hamtaro: Reindeer! Reindeer! Please calm down!  
  
*Howdy and Dexter are all tied up in the reins from fighting*  
  
Howdy: uuumm.... a little help!  
  
Dexter: HOEDOWN!  
  
Howdy: HOOTIN'NINNY!!!  
  
*they continue to fight, despite how tangled up they are*  
  
Stan: *calls out to they audience* Hey you! Ya, you in the middle row, with the large hat with the huge purple feather on it! Can I have your phone number baby?  
  
Sandy: Stan! This is not the time to be doing that!  
  
Maxwell: Everyone stop!  
  
*Boss continues to run around panicing, Penelope continues to cry even louder, Howdy and Dexter still fight, and Stan and Sandy still argue*  
  
Maxwell: oh-no....  
  
*the whole area is scattered with chairs, garbage, and everyone's run off*  
  
Bijou: *gets a bucket of water, and throws it on Boss*  
  
Boss: Thank you, so much! *falls over in exhaustion*  
  
Maxwell: How could you let this happen!?  
  
Hamtaro: I guess....we actually wern't ready...sorry...  
  
Boss: It's my fault...if only I hadn't been so hesitant about being Rudolph!  
  
Howdy: I don't blame ya...i'd feel pretty dumb too if I had to do a play in a huge baggy reindeer costume with a light bulb tied to my face.  
  
Penelope: Ookwee...  
  
Pashmina: And I don't think Penelope is ready for show buisness yet.  
  
Hamtaro: Sorry Maxwell....we tried...  
  
Maxwell: *sigh* it's okay... I guess it just wasn't meant to be.  
  
Boss: Maybe next year we'll be ready!  
  
Stan: Totally! Then maybe a new ham-gal in the crowd will catch my eye!  
  
Hamtaro: We'll do it next year! For now, let's just have fun and celebrate the Christmas holidays together! What do you say Maxwell?  
  
Maxwell: Alright, next year then. Let's have some christmas snacks then, shall we?  
  
Hamtaro: Heke? Christmas snacks?  
  
Maxwell: Yes, I made some for after the play, but I think we still deserve them for all our hard work!  
  
Oxnard: Yay! I've been waiting for this!  
  
Hamtaro: Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!  
  
Boss: Ya ya, whatever. Let's just eat! *grabs cookie*  
  
And so, the hamhams stuff their faces with cookies and milk (especially Oxnard) with high Christmas spirit. Merry Christmas everyone, and have a Happy New Year! Bye-Q! :3 


End file.
